HUG Corner: Thought for the Week 7/8/19

Healing After Loss (Martha Whitmore Hickman)

“Many promising reconciliations have broken down because, while both parties came prepared to forgie, neither party came prepared to be forgiven.” 

– Charles Williams

Sometimes it is the last stone to be lifted from the grieving heart – the inability to accept forgiveness. And we each have our own catalog of things for which we yearn for forgiveness. The harsh word quickly spoken, the service performed begrudgingly – or not at all.

Who is holding out for reprisal? Is the one who has died scowling and shaking an accusing finger in some netherworld? More than likely it’s we who continue to berate ourselves: How could you?

“When you forgive yourself, you are forgiven,” says Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who for many years has written about and consoled others with stages of grief.

Imagine a conversation between you and the one for whom you grieve. Would you want that person to be without flaws? Such a person would bear little resemblance to the one you love.

No more does that person want perfection of you. You wouldn’t be recognizable, either!

I will try to let the weight of guilt and regret slip away. I am not perfect. I am loved. And love makes all kinds of allowances and keeps on loving.